At First
by Manic Penguin
Summary: AU. What if Harm had a cousin who's existance set into motion a meeting of Harmon Rabb Jr and Sarah MacKenzie when they were only children? How would their lives be different?
1. Of Duty and First Smiles

_Title: At First_

_Note: I am a west-coast Canadian girl and proud of it. I haven't been to Washington since I was eight, so my knowledge of the area is seriously limited. Los Angeles I know, but La Jolla I don't, so I'm making everything up as I go along. My knowledge of Arizona is almost non-existant, and any details you see are made up. Katrina and her parents are my own creation. I don't know if Trish has siblings, but, in this story, she does. If I'm wrong, well, you'll just have to deal with it 'cause I need Harm to have Katrina._

_Disclaimer: If I owned JAG, it's characters, or any of it, Harm and Mac would have gotten together a long time ago, AJ wouldn't have retired, and Meg never would have left... though I'm not sure how I would have worked Mac into the show without Meg leaving... Anyway, I own nothing._

_Warnings: This story canabalizes from Mac and Harm's histories, but also changes them along the way. You'll see what I mean if you stick with me for a while._

_Rating: PG-13, though rating subject to change in later chapters._

_Expected Chapters: I have no idea how long this will be. The more replies I get the more I write. That's all there is to it._

_Dedication: To my best friend for always being there for me and for encouraging me to put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard. Whatever._

* * *

**San Diego, California**

**Beach House**

**July 1, 1975**

Harmon Rabb Jr didn't mind wearing a suit. He didn't mind the tie. He didn't mind standing in front of his family and friends of his mother's and reciting the passage that he had been asked to read. The dress shoes pinched a little in the toes but he had known that his old ones wouldn't fit and still had refused to go shoe shopping so he knew better than to complain about that. He didn't mind the relatives pinching his cheeks and ruffling his hair, partially because he wasn't easily bothered by things like that and partially because he got a little bit of satisfaction that with each tousle of his hair a little more of the oppressive hair gel that had been combed through his dark hair was transferred onto someone's hand. And he loved that everyone was telling him that he was looking more and more like his father everyday.

What he couldn't stand was the fact that all of the minor annoyances came crashing together on a boiling hot Southern California day that just happened to be his mother's wedding day.

_**Second**_ wedding day, Harm was quick to remind anyone who made the mistake of not qualifying this as Trish's second marriage.

Even though he wanted her to be happy—and he had to reluctantly admit that Frank did make his mother happy—Harm still maintained that the only good thing about his mother getting remarried was that he got to stay at Gran's farm in Pennsylvania while Trish and Frank went on their honeymoon—a concept that sickened the twelve year old boy.

Gran was his ally in anything and everything. She was the one he could turn to whenever he started to miss his father too much. She was the one he looked to for advice. She was the one he could admit anything to. Harm couldn't lie to his Grandma Sarah; she would take one look at him with her warm blue eyes and she would know the truth no matter how convincing he felt his lie was. They called each other all the time and wrote letters constantly. Visits were hard because he had school and she couldn't afford to fly from Pennsylvania to La Jolla more than once a year, twice if there was a special reason, but that just made them appreciate the time they did have together.

When Frank Burnett came into his mother's life, Harm felt lost. Seeing his mother fall in love was one of the most painful experiences of his life. He had never given up hope that his father was alive somewhere, that the fact that Harmon Rabb Sr was MIA and not confirmed dead meant that the six years since 'Hammer' had gone missing were just six years that he was being kept away from his family not six years that he was lying in some unmarked grave or well through the process of decomposition under half a decade of undergrowth in a jungle somewhere. Harm knew that his mother couldn't believe that his father might still be alive so that she could go on with her life, but he couldn't accept that. He needed proof before he would believe that his father was gone. And there was no way that he was going to let Frank Burnett be his father. He didn't even want to let him be his stepfather, but he knew it would hurt his mother more than anything to lose Frank. So, in deference to his mother's heart, he did as he was told, he read a mushy poem and stood proudly in his dark suit and tried not to cringe when the priest told Frank to kiss his bride and after the ceremony he danced with his mother and Gran and Nana, his maternal grandmother, and sat at the kids table and tried to pretend that he wasn't plotting his escape from what he was told would be the beginning of the rest of his life.

After the reception Harm said goodbye to his mom and shook Frank's hand without emotion and he watched them drive off before going to find Gran who was in the kitchen of the beachfront house Trish and Frank had bought a few months earlier.

"You did good, Harmon," Gran said, hugging her only grandson tightly. "I know how hard today was for you," she added.

"Why won't she believe that dad's not dead?" Harm asked. He had asked that question millions of times and he never got an answer that he felt was suitable.

This time was no different.

"Your mother needs to believe that your father is gone because she can't live her life wondering where he is," Gran said. "You shouldn't either," she said with a gentle smile.

His cousin, Katrina, came into the kitchen at that moment. She was twelve as well, two months older than Harm—a fact that she loved to rub in his face because it made her the oldest which, by kid law, made her the boss in almost every aspect of life—and she and Harm had spent a lot of time together, growing up like brother and sister. Her mother and Harm's were sisters and had lived within three miles of each other since moving out on their own.

"Hello, Katrina," Gran said with a warm smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Rabb," Katrina replied. Even though she had known Gran forever she couldn't seem to call her anything other than Mrs. Rabb, even with Gran's insistence that she at least call her Sarah because Mrs. Rabb made her feel old. "Harm, I know you're going to the farm while Auntie Trish is away, but mom's taking me to Arizona so I can see my friend from camp and I wanted to know if you wanted to come," Katrina said, turning to face Harm who was almost seven inches taller than her.

"I think that would be a wonderful trip," Gran said. "I didn't have enough time to get everything ready for you before coming here, Harmon. This would give me more time to prepare the kind of food that you like," she said with a warm smile. He hadn't eaten meat since he was three and was very vocal on the topic of eating 'disgusting dead animal'.

"Okay," Harm said somewhat reluctantly. He'd never been to Arizona and he wouldn't mind spending some more time with his cousin who was one of his best friends as well. "For how long?"

"A week," Katrina said, beaming brightly. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" she exclaimed, turning to tell her parents the news.

Harm, however, was somewhat less enthused.

* * *

**Miami, Arizona**

**MacKenzie Residence**

**July 3, 1975**

Sarah MacKenzie was eagerly awaiting the arrival of the girl she had met at a camp for children of people in the military the year before. Her hair had grown out after a disaster of an attempted haircut at her own hands and her mother had put her brown locks into two French braids with ribbons woven throughout. Her clothes weren't new but the jeans had flared bottoms with little plastic gems all over and the top had '_Marines_' printed on it—a gift from her Uncle Matt for her last birthday. She had cleaned her room—something Sarah usually avoided because she already knew where everything was in the jumbled mess that was her little corner of the world—and had convinced her mother to bring a television up to her room so they could watch movies without disturbing her father.

She just prayed her father stayed on his best behaviour.

A rental car pulled up in front of the house and a second later Katrina jumped out, running up to the house. Sarah met her at the door and they hugged and squealed with joy. They talked rapidly, covering several months of their lives before Harm even got out of the car.

"Who's that?" Sarah asked, stopping in the middle of a story about dinosaur-track hunting with her Uncle Matt.

"That's my cousin, Harm. Remember, I told you he might be coming with me," Katrina said. "Harm, come on," she called, urging him over.

Sarah watched the tall boy cross the driveway gracefully. He was like the cat the neighbour had, every move deliberate, his bright eyes scanning the surroundings, taking everything in and processing it immediately for future reference. She couldn't help but think that he was like a Triceratops—her favourite dinosaur. Generally peaceable, kind and gentle, but dangerous if crossed, especially if he was defending the ones he loved. Sarah wasn't sure how she could tell this about him when she hadn't even spoken to the older boy, but she was positive that she was right.

"Hello. You must be Sarah," Harm said, smiling brightly. "I'm Harm."

"It's nice to meet you," Sarah said. She smiled when he extended his hand to her. She shook it firmly. "Kati couldn't stop talking about you last summer."

"Sarah, it's good to see you again," Cynthia Williams, Katrina's mother, said with a warm smile. "Harmon, could you help me with the bags?"

"Of course," Harm said, flashing his cousin and Sarah a brief smile before going off to do some heavy lifting. His own bag was really only an oversized backpack, but Katrina was not known for her restraint when it came to what to bring on trips. Harm often told her that she would never be able to join the Navy like he knew she wanted to unless she learned to pack only the bare essentials. Katrina always replied that she _was_ only packing the bare essentials. At that point the stubbornness that they both had inherited from their mothers—though their fathers had also been compared to mules more than once—would kick in and they would go back and forth until they were pulled apart or until they found something better to do. Trish and Cynthia had always told them that they would make great lawyers one day but that they should go into practice together so they wouldn't end up fighting each other in the courtroom.

Katrina asked for directions to the bathroom and Sarah pointed her in the right direction before going over to help Harm. Cynthia had fallen into deep conversation with Sarah's mother, Deanna, leaving Harm to lug all the bags into the house—a feat he seemed determined to accomplish in one trip. Without a word Sarah took several bags from the back of the car before Harm could find a semi-free appendage to hang them off of. He flashed her a brilliant smile and they headed into the house. Sarah led Harm up to the second floor. "You can take the guestroom right there," she said, pointing to an open doorway a few feet away, "and Kati can stay in here with me," she added, indicating the bedroom with **SARAH **spelled out in sparkly green letters across the T-brace on the paneled door.

"Thanks," Harm said. He followed Sarah into her room and set his cousin's bags down on the floor. Sarah quirked an eyebrow at all the bags. "Yeah. Katrina doesn't know the meaning of 'packing light'," he smiled before hefting his backpack up onto his shoulder and going to stow it in the guest room. He liked Sarah already. Harm could see why his cousin had been drawn to the girl. She was sweet and friendly and adorable with her braids and freckles, but there was also a sadness behind her puppy-dog eyes that belied some serious emotional scarring that made Harm want to wrap her up in his arms and protect her from whatever had caused Sarah MacKenzie pain.

* * *

_I don't know where Mac actually grew up, and a lot of details are going to change over the course of this story. Miami, Arizona, is a real place, and was the setting of an ALIAS-basedficthat a friend of mine wrote a while back and, since I didn't want to go with the usual 'Phoenix' fallback I went this route._

_What do you think so far? There are a few more chapters that I've finished, and there will be more after that. Probably about ten chapters total, I think. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, though, so I know if I should keep working on this or not._

_M_


	2. Of Tears and Bonds

_Sorry this chapter is so short, but it was written to fill a major time-gap and I didn't want this chapter to drag on. The next update will be up soon._

* * *

**Miami, Arizona**

**County Hospital**

**Children's Ward**

**July 6, 1975**

It had been a long few hours and Harm felt like crying, something he hadn't felt since Christmas Eve, 1969. He fought the tears, however, because he was still responsible for Sarah and she was clinging to him like he was her only lifeline. Harm was holding her as well, allowing the tiny girl to curl up on his lap with her face buried in his neck while they waited for the doctor to tell them what was going on with Katrina.

He, Sarah, and Katrina had been at the park that was a few blocks from the MacKenzie's house when Katrina had been stung by a very angry bee. Harm knew that she was deathly allergic to bee sting, though he had never seen her after a bite until after she was out of the hospital, and watching his beloved cousin go into anaphylactic shock had torn his heart out. He'd told Sarah to call an ambulance from the payphone by the basketball courts and, keeping one eye on his cousin and one eye on Sarah, he'd experienced the worst ten minutes of his life.

The paramedics had been kind, loading Katrina in and helping Sarah into the front seat while Harm stayed in the back with his cousin and one of the EMTs. Sarah had been enthralled by the siren, the speed of the vehicle and the way cars moved out of their way, parting like the Red Sea, keeping her from thinking about Katrina for a few minutes. When they got to the hospital a nurse watched Sarah for a few minutes while Harm gave another nurse the medical history he knew about. When he was done with that the nurse that was watching Sarah had led them to the family room and told them that they should call their parents. Harm had taken care of that, working on autopilot until finally collapsing into a semi-comfortable chair. Sarah had immediately crawled up there with him and they had sat like that for over an hour before anyone came to talk to them.

Because Harm was too young to make any decisions, he had had to call his aunt and uncle again so they could talk to the doctor. Only hearing half the conversation was worse than knowing everything, he had decided quickly, and had tuned out until the doctor knelt down in front of him and Sarah and told them what had happened.

"Your uncle wanted me to tell you what happened. He said that you'll be able to handle the truth. He also said that you and Katrina are close," the doctor said kindly.

"We are," Harm nodded quietly. Sarah burrowed closer to Harm, her comforting force in the confusion of the day.

The doctor nodded. "Your cousin had an allergic reaction to the bee sting. Because you caught it right away and called an ambulance you probably saved her life," the man with greying hair said. "I'm not going to lie to you, son. We almost lost her a couple of times. But we gave her some medication and so far she is reacting well to it."

"So she'll be okay?" Sarah asked, her voice thick with tears. Harm rubbed his hand over her back in small circles, the corduroy of her overalls making a whooshing sound against the skin of his hand. The doctor smiled at how well Harm was doing at holding everything together, including dealing with a terrified eight-year-old girl. He had seen adults that hadn't been as calm as Harm in the same situation.

"Right now we've got her sedated… asleep," the doctor said, forgetting for a moment that he was dealing with two scared kids. They way they were dealing with everything made them responsible and mature well beyond their years. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened to them that had made them grow up so quickly. "We won't know for sure if everything is alright until she wakes up."

"And when should that be?" Harm asked.

"Between eight to twelve hours from now," the doctor said. "Where are your parents right now? You have called them, haven't you?"

Harm nodded. "My mom and stepfather," he said, cringing at the term, "are on their honeymoon. Katrina's parents, my aunt and uncle, are trying to get a flight out of San Diego."

"What about you, little one?" the doctor asked Sarah.

"They're at work. My mom said she would come here on her lunch break," Sarah said. She hadn't bothered to call her father. That was just inviting trouble.

"Alright. I want you both to stay in here. If you need anything press this button," he said, indicating a red call button by the door, "and a nurse will come and help you, alright?"

"Yes, sir," Harm nodded. He had the urge to stand at attention and salute, but the girl in his arms was more important than the protocols he had been trained in since birth.

The doctor smiled at them and then left, heading off to do his rounds.

"Harm, do you think she's really okay?" Sarah asked softly. Harm could tell she felt guilty. It had been her idea to go to the park. Katrina hadn't wanted to go, but Harm had convinced her to, for Sarah's sake. Since they had arrived they had both seen how Sarah's father, Joe MacKenzie, treated his family. He was constantly drunk or hung over, or working his way to one of the above, and, though they had never seen him physically abuse Sarah or Deanna, his verbal assaults scared them. They couldn't imagine growing up with a father who treated everyone around him like something in the pit of an outhouse.

"I know she is, Mac," Harm said, using the affectionate nickname he had taken to calling her by when he wanted to make sure he really got through to her. Sarah smiled. "What?" he asked, a smile spreading over his face as well.

"I like that. When you call me 'Mac'. There are four other Sarah's in my class. I hate it when the teacher calls for 'the Sarahs'," she said.

"Then it's official. You're Mac from here on out," Harm smiled, tweaking her nose playfully.

Sarah grinned before curling up against Harm's chest again. He stroked her hair the way his mother did for him when he was younger and had nightmares about his father crashing in Vietnam, and she was asleep within minutes.


	3. Of Letters and Peace

**Annapolis, Maryland**

**Annapolis Naval Academy**

**October 25, 1982**

Harmon Rabb Jr was having a great day. He'd aced his last three exams and was on the fast track to a carrier. His cousin, Katrina, had come by to visit for the weekend and he had thoroughly enjoyed watching her turn down his classmates who seemed to think that Katrina Williams was the hottest woman they had ever seen. Of course, he hadn't enjoyed watching her openly flirt back and forth with his roommate, Luke Pendry, but when Katrina's friend, Annie, came by to pick Katrina up for dinner, Luke had fallen in love and all thoughts of Katrina were forgotten. And, topping off the great day he had been having, he'd received a letter from Sarah—Mac, to him.

Ever since he was twelve and had gone with Katrina to visit Sarah MacKenzie he had kept in touch with the younger girl. They wrote letters to each other constantly and called each other whenever they could. He had sent her a birthday present a few weeks before. Some tapes, a tape player, and a necklace with a rose pendant dangling from the silver chain. She was fifteen, and he knew her parents wouldn't do anything big for her. He'd always made a big deal out of her birthdays, ever since her ninth when he found out that her father had gone on a bender and her mother had forgotten until the next week and had given her a stale cupcake she'd 'liberated' from the staff room at work. When Sarah turned ten Harm had gone all out, having a cake sent to the house and sending her a bunch of gifts and a card and instructions to call him if she ever needed anything, no matter how small. They hadn't seen each other in person since that summer but they sent pictures and in depth letters to each other several times a year. Sarah had turned to him when her first real crush had broken her heart. Harm had turned to her when faced with the decision of what to study in college and whether or not it was really his dream to go to flight school or if he was just doing it beacuse that was what his father had done. She had confessed that her father was getting more and more abusive over the years, though she swore up and down that he had never hit her or her mother, it was all verbal. Harm had told her about the nightmares he still had about his father's disappearance. Sarah had called him when she started feeling depressed the year before because her mother wasn't home much and her father was drinking more than he was working. Harm had told Sarah where he was going when he ran away at sixteen to search for his father in Laos—Sarah was the only one who knew about his first love who had been lost before they could get a chance at happiness.

Wondering what she had to say, Harm sat down by the water where he always felt calmer and opened the letter eagerly. He always looked forward to letters from Sarah.

What he read this time, however, scared Harm.

_Dear Harm,_

_Thank you so much for the tapes and the cassette deck. I did what you suggested and keep them under the floorboards in my closet so dad can't sell them. And the necklace was beautiful. I haven't taken it off since I opened it. I have to keep it tucked under my collar because dad's been on a rampage for the last few months—he even went as far as to accuse me of stealing money from him in front of a bunch of people from school. I know he spent the money at the bar or lost it gambling (maybe a combination of both) but the result was that the few friends I was making at school think I'm a klepto with a crazy father. Unfortunately the second half is all too true._

_But that isn't the real reason I'm writing this is to tell you that on my birthday mom left. I came home from school and… there was a note on my pillow. **"I had to leave, be a good girl, love mom."** She never was one for flowery expressions. We lose the house at the end of the month. Dad found some hole of an apartment over a bar—like that will help the money situation—and I don't want to stay with him but Uncle Matt can't take me in 'cause he's got work and might be transferred soon and I really have no other options. But it's not that much longer 'til college, right?_

_I wanted to call you that night, but you've just started the Academy and you don't need to listen to the drama of a fifteen-year-old reject. I don't even know why you've kept in touch with me, Harm. Ever since we met I've been leaning on you, depending on you for everything, and I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that I have you in my life, but really, why do you keep writing to me and calling me and sending me thoughtful gifts and everything when all I do is whine at you? On second though, don't answer that. I'm just glad that you're on my side._

_If you've got the time I could use your advice on something. If you're too busy with school and all the girls I'm sure are falling at your feet, don't bother, but if you've got some spare time could you set up a call date? Uncle Matt has my new number; he'll be able to connect you like he usually does._

_All my love,_

_Mac_

Harm couldn't believe it. Deanna had left her family. She had left her daughter—on her birthday no less—with an abusive drunk who barely even knew he had a daughter let alone cared about what happened to her. He couldn't help but wish he had received the letter the week before so he could have taken the weekend and gotten Mac away from her father, away from the hell of a life she was dealing with.

Half of him wanted to call his mother and explain the situation, knowing she would eagerly take Sarah in and treat her like the princess her name defined for as long as Sarah was willing to stay, but he knew how Sarah felt about charity and he knew that would be what she would see the offer as.

The other half of him wanted to say 'screw school' and catch the first flight to Arizona and get her to safety himself. He knew that if he timed it right and everything went well he would be able to be back at school, only missing one day of lessons.

Deciding that he needed to talk to Sarah—in hopes that things might have changed since she sent the letter—before taking any action, Harm headed for the gates. There was a café not far from the campus that had the kind of pay phone with a bench and darkened doors for privacy. He'd discovered it with Luke not long after they'd started school.

Technically he was supposed to be on campus during his hour break before dinner but over half the population of the school left because, honestly, there wasn't much else to do other than run laps around the field, watch Bill the ageless goat chew on everything in sight, or work out in the gym. But, even though everyone did it and everyone knew that everyone did it, if you were caught there were severe punishments issued. You could talk about what you had done later with the dean and no one could do anything, but if any teachers or administration saw you leaving the campus you were screwed. And, because of this, Harm was glad he'd opted to take a course in evasive manoeuvres and stealth escapes his first term.

He made it to the café without incident and got the proprietor, a pleasant woman named Ida, to change a twenty into quarters for him. He didn't know how long the call would take, and he didn't want to run out half way through.

Dialling Matt O'Hara's phone number, Harm prayed that he would be able to reach Sarah. The Marine picked up almost immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hello, sir, this is Harmon Rabb. I need you to connect me to Sarah," Harm said.

"She told you 'bout Deanna?" Matt asked.

"Yes, sir," Harm said, nodding even though he knew he couldn't be seen. "I need to make sure she's alright. I need to talk to her."

Matt coughed. "I understand, son. I'll patch you through right now."

He could hear the three-way-calling feature Matt had dialling another number and a minute later Joe MacKenzie answered the phone angrily. Matt was pleasant and asked to speak to his niece and Joe hollered for Sarah to get the phone.

As soon as Harm heard Sarah's voice he felt like screaming. Even though she had just said 'hello?' she sounded like hell.

Matt hung up and Harm took a slow breath. "Mac, I got your letter," Harm said gently.

"Harm," Sarah said, her voice filled with relief. "I'm so glad you called. I really need to talk to you."

"I'm listening," Harm said. "Tell me what happened with your mom."

Sarah started telling him the story, going into more detail that she had in her letter. Within moments he could hear tears in her voice, and he was fighting his own emotional outburst in response to her palpable pain.

"Last night… was the worst," Mac said in summation. "Dad got kicked out of the bar downstairs because he couldn't pay the tab and… he got angry…" she trailed off.

"Did he touch you?" Harm asked, his hands balling into fists, the many deaths of Joe MacKenzie flashing before his eyes.

"He tried to hit me. I sidestepped and he ended up passing out on the couch," Sarah said. "He didn't remember anything when he woke up. He just asked for the Aspirin."

Harm summoned his courage and said, "I want you to leave. Get on a bus to San Diego and stay with my mom and Frank. Or get on a plane and come here. There are good schools out here and there'll be a whole country between you and your father."

"Harm, I can't afford that," Sarah said.

"I'll wire you the money," Harm said without giving it a second thought. "Please, Mac," he said.

"I can't, Harm. How long do you think he'll survive if I leave? The tips I make at the diner barely cover his bar tab as it is. And besides, I'm only fifteen, I'd have to have a legal guardian or I'd just end up back with dear old dad. And where would I live? You live on campus in a room with several other nineteen-year-old males, so don't say I could stay with you. And you're the only person I know outside of this burg."

"Then go to San Diego, stay with mom and Frank at the beach house. Mom's always wanted a daughter and she loves you like one already. You'll get to go to a good school and have a real life, away from your family and your past," Harm said plaintively. "Please, Mac. You mean too much to me. I can't let you stay with your father. You've been lucky so far; he hasn't actually hurt you. But how long before he gets a lucky shot in? How long before he pisses someone off and they take it out on you? I can't let you stay there, Sarah," he said, using her first name for the first time since that day in the hospital when she was eight and he was twelve.

Sarah sniffled. "I… I don't know," she said softly.

"Either you agree to get your stuff packed up and get on a bus to La Jolla, or I'm coming out there myself," Harm threatened.

"You can't miss school, Harm. Becoming a pilot means everything to you," Sarah said.

"I will throw it all away if it means you get away from the life," Harm said. He never thought anyone or anything could be more important than becoming a pilot like his father and grandfather. Sarah MacKenzie was.

Sniffling again, Sarah said, "I'll pay your mom and step-dad back every cent they spend on me."

"They'll never agree to that, but you can offer if you want," Harm said, unbelievably relieved that his sweet Mac would be getting the life she deserved. Finally.

After mentally figuring out how long it would take to get from La Jolla to Sarah, Harm spoke again. "Start packing your stuff now. I know your dad'll go down to the bar for a few dozen drinks. Once he's out leave. I'll get mom or Frank to pick you up at the park by your old house. Can you make it there?"

"Yeah. I don't have a lot of stuff," Sarah said. "Not stuff I want to keep, anyway."

"Okay. I'm going to call mom now. And I'll call tomorrow at this time at the beach house. I expect you to be there," Harm said seriously.

"Okay," Mac said softly. "Thank you, Harm. I love you for caring so much."

"I love you because you're you, Mac," Harm replied gently. "Be careful. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

"I'll be okay," she responded. "Hey, does this mean I'll get to see you for Christmas?"

Harm chuckled. "Yeah, you will," he said. He had actually planned on just going up to Gran's farm in Bellville for the holiday but, if Mac was going to be in San Diego, there was no place he'd rather be.

"Good. I haven't seen you in too long, Harm," Mac said.

"Same here," Harm said. "I should make my call. Be careful, okay?"

"Always," Mac whispered before hanging up.

Harm hung up as well and then picked up the handset and inserted another bunch of quarters. After dialling the number for his mom and stepfather's house he took a deep breath. What he was going to ask of them was huge and, though he knew they would willingly do it, it was still a major thing to ask of them.

"Hello?" Frank said.

"Hey, Frank," Harm said. He still couldn't stand the man, though he was much less vocal about it since his return from Vietnam. "Is mom around? I need to ask her a favour."

"One second," Frank said. A second later Harm heard his mother's voice.

"Harm, it's good to hear your voice," Trish said happily. "How's school?"

"Great," Harm said honestly. "And I'll tell you all about it later, but right now I need to ask your something that's… pretty big."

Trish sighed. "What's her name and how pregnant is she?"

Harm laughed. "It's not like that, mom, I promise. It's Mac. Sarah, I mean," he said. "Her mom left and her dad is getting violent. It's scaring me, mom. And I was wondering if you would mind taking her in."

"Deanna left? I knew she and Joe would never work out, but I can't believe she left Sarah behind," Trish said. Harm could picture her sinking down into a chair, her head shaking in disbelief. "Of course she can come stay with us."

"Thank you so much, mom," Harm said, relief washing over him. He had known that his mother would say yes, but actually hearing the words made it much easier to accept. "She'll be waiting at the park by her old house. She would have taken a bus but she doesn't have the money and I don't want her to have to spend another night around her father."

"Frank is already warming up the car," Trish said. Harm gave her directions to the park, which she dutifully wrote down and repeated back to him so that she was sure she got it right. "Okay. I'm off now. We should be able to get to the park before dark, assuming we don't hit traffic."

"Good. Mac said she'd leave as soon as her dad goes to the bar," Harm said. "And mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Give her a hug for me," Harm said softly.

"The moment I see her," Trish promised. They said a quick goodbye and then hung up.

Harm knew he wouldn't be sleeping that night, and that he wouldn't be able to focus on anything until he had heard Mac's voice again, until he knew she was safe in a home where she would be protected and loved, so he paused for a cup of coffee before returning to the campus. Ida gave free coffee to the Academy 'folk', using her 'special' pot to make the extra-strong brew. She also made an amazing veggie omelette that Harm had been craving for days, but he knew he didn't have time before he had to be back for dinner. He was just heading out the door after the caffeine kicked in when he realized he was supposed to have met Luke in the library to help him prep for his 'rules of engagement' test; that meant that he would have a lot of questions to answer. Questions he wasn't sure he was prepared to answer.

* * *

**Miami, Arizona**

**Miller Park**

**October 25, 1982**

Sarah MacKenzie was sitting on the top of the slide with all her worldly possessions around her. She was depressed by the knowledge that her entire life could be stuffed hastily into one canvas duffel and her book bag. She was also energized by the knowledge that she was only a matter of miles from her new life, one that, hopefully, would have Harmon Rabb Jr playing a more active and in-person role.

Getting out of the house had been easy. Like Harm said, her father had gone down to get a drink and the moment he left she grabbed her bags and left. Sarah usually hated moving and, being the child of the military, she had moved several times before they came to Arizona, but this time she was giddy with excitement. A real home. She couldn't even picture what it would be like, but she knew that it would be better than what she had always known.

Not knowing how long it would be before Trish and Frank got there, Sarah pulled out one of the books she was reading and a flashlight and she let herself get lost in the world the author had painted so artfully.

The sun had set and it was starting to cool off when she saw a car pull up to the curb. Trish Burnett, a woman she only knew from pictures, got out of the passenger side. "Sarah?" she called, heading toward the playground equipment.

"Mrs. Burnett," Sarah said, hopping down from the platform and going over to Harm's mother. "I can't begin to thank you for doing this."

"Nonsense, dear. You're important to Harm, and that makes you important to me. I just wish we could have met under better circumstances," Trish said, pulling Sarah into a hug. "That was from Harm," she explained. She hugged her again. "And that was from me," she smiled.

Sarah smiled. Already she felt better.

"This is my husband, Frank," Trish said as he joined them. "Where are your things? We've got a bit of a drive ahead of us and I'm sure you'll want to sleep in a bed rather than the car."

"I'll get them," Sarah said, climbing up the slide without hesitation and gathering up her bags. Trish was shocked by how little the girl had in her possession. She made a mental note to take the girl shopping first thing in the morning.

They got in the car and Frank pulled back out onto the street, heading back toward San Diego.

"What did you tell your father?" Trish asked.

"I left a note in his room. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. I also paid his rent for the next two months with my last paycheque," Sarah said.

"That was nice of you. Overly generous considering how he's treated you all your life, but still nice," Trish said.

"My Uncle Matt is a Marine, my dad too, and I hope to be one some day. One of the most important things I've been taught is that Marines take care of their own," Sarah said.

"I see many Navy-versus-Marines battles when Harm comes home," Frank smirked. Sarah laughed at that. The teasing battle had been going on since the day they met.

"So, Sarah, you said you worked. Where?" Trish said.

"A diner by the high school," she replied. "One of those places that's stuck in the fifties. Pink and black poodle skirts, roller skates, bowling shirts, bad music, the whole nine yards. Decent pay, good tips. I got a lot of hours, especially over the summer when everyone was taking vacation time, so I have some money saved up. It's not much, but I plan on getting a job once I get settled and I'll pay you back for everything."

"No way, Sarah. You can get a job if you want, but you will keep every cent for yourself," Trish said. "This is not up for debate," she added before Sarah could argue.

"Yes, ma'am," Sarah said, accepting defeat.

"And no more of this ma'am nonsense. Call us Trish and Frank," Trish said. "It's good that you respect your elders, but I'll go insane if you go around ma'am-ing me all the time." Sarah giggled at that.

They got to the house around two in the morning and Frank carried the slumbering Sarah to the guest bedroom—her bedroom—and lay her down on the mattress. He eased her shoes off her feet and tucked her in under the covers. "Sleep well, princess," he whispered before leaving the room. Trish put Sarah's things down by the bed and brushed the girl's hair off her face before going to bed herself.

Sarah slept through the night without a single nightmare.

* * *

_So far no big problems, right? Right. But the next chapter introduces Eddie... anyone remember him?_

_M_


	4. Of Swimming and Crushes

**La Jolla, California**

**Burnett Beach House**

**December 15, 1982**

It had been almost two months since Sarah MacKenzie had come to stay with Trish and Frank Burnett and everything was working out amazingly well. She and Harm talked constantly. She was doing well in school and even made a few friends. Trish had helped her get a job at a coffee shop-slash-bookstore and had spent a lot of time getting to know her better. Frank was great, always there for her should she need him, calling her Princess and making sure she had everything she needed. And, unbeknownst to Sarah, Trish and Frank—with some donations from Matt O'Hara—had set up a college fund for her through their bank, a surprise for when she got around to her senior year.

It was after seven when Sarah got home that night, having gone out with some friends to celebrate the end of school for 1982. She planned on taking some time in the pool before dinner, which, as Frank had a late meeting, wouldn't be until around eight, but the rental car parked in the driveway next to Trish's convertible triggered her memory.

Harm.

She couldn't believe she had forgotten that he was arriving that afternoon. Ever since he'd arranged for her escape from her father she had been looking forward to seeing Harm at Christmas, counting the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until his flight would come in. But with all the end of school excitement and the fact that she had been invited to hang out with a large group of people her age had erased everything from her mind. She was trying really hard to fit in, and was doing an okay job of it, but with her trust issues making friends was not easy for her.

Sarah unlocked the door and dropped her keys on the table before tucking her school bag into the closet where she wouldn't think about it until at least January. "Hello?" she called, wondering where everyone was. Wondering where Harm was.

"Back here, dear," Trish called from the pool. Sarah smiled as she headed through the house. She was truly happy for the first time in her entire life, and she couldn't wait to thank the man who had made it all possible. "How was school?" Trish asked. She was lying on a lounge chair with a large straw hat on her head and a thick catalogue sitting on her lap. Sarah recognized it as one from the gallery, and she assumed that it was for the show Trish had been preparing for since the middle of November.

"Good. We didn't do much today," Sarah said, frowning internally when she didn't see Harm. "Michelle invited me to go to the mall for a celebratory coffee with some people from the basketball team. Sorry I didn't call, I totally spaced."

"It's fine," Trish said, waving her off. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah," Sarah said.

"And was Eddie there?" Trish asked. Eddie was the one friend Sarah had made since arriving in La Jolla that Trish and Frank didn't like, though they had decided to let Sarah make her own decisions.

Sarah shook her head as she rolled the legs of her jeans up to her knees and sat down with her feet in the pool. She was on the opposite side of the pool from Trish and had her back to the house. "He had to leave right at three. His parents are taking him to Vale for break."

"That sounds nice," Trish said. She saw her son come out of the house but didn't react, knowing what he was planning. "I hope you don't mind that we're not going anywhere this year. With the show at the gallery I've been too busy to plan anything."

"It's fine, really," Sarah said before she felt someone pick her up under her arms and toss her into the pool. She screamed and swallowed a mouthful of chlorinated water before coming to the surface and sweeping her hair off her face. "Harm!" she screamed, half indignant, half thrilled to see him.

"Hiya, Mac," Harm said, flashing her his trademark smile before diving gracefully into the pool and surfacing a few feet in front of her. "Good to see you," he grinned before gathering her in his arms.

All her anger at her sudden dip in the pool—in brand new clothes—melted away when she felt his arms wrap around her body. Sarah clung to him tightly, letting him keep them both above water.

She had always had something of a crush on Harmon Rabb, Jr. There was no denying the fact that he was hot. She'd experienced her first feelings of puppy love at the tender age of eight when he let her sleep against his chest in the hospital and over the years, with each letter and accompanying picture, her feelings grew. When he'd send her a picture of him with his roommates, Luke Pendry and Jack Keeter, she hadn't even noticed the other two males until a few days later when she managed to get her jaw off the floor at the sight of Harm in his Academy uniform. She had pictures of Harm taped in her locker at school and even had one in her school agenda. A lot of the other girls at school who had seen the pictures had fallen in love with Harm as well. But for Sarah it wasn't just that he was hot—even though he made every movie star she could think of look like someone who slept under an overpass. She actually knew Harm, knew how sweet and kind he was, had been on the receiving end of his Flyboy smiles and had been the person he had turned to when he was going through major life issues, and that was why she loved him so much. The fact that he was mouth-wateringly 'so hot it should be illegal' was just an added bonus.

But she knew that he just thought of her as Mac, the little girl he'd kept in touch with for most of his life and who was living with his mother and stepfather because her own family had, in a word, sucked. She kept saying _'he is nineteen'_ over and over, repeating the words to herself to keep from doing something stupid like kissing Harm and making a fool of herself.

"I missed you," Sarah whispered into his neck.

"I missed you, too," Harm replied gently.

* * *

**La Jolla, California**

**Burnett Beach House**

**December 15, 1982**

"Sorry about throwing you in the pool. I just couldn't resist," Harm said loudly. He was sitting on Sarah's bed while she got changed into dry clothes in the bathroom.

"Just don't make it a habit," Sarah said, coming out in a pair of shorts and a tank top, towelling her hair. She sat down on the bed with him. "So… when did you get in?"

"I got here about four," Harm said, picking up a stuffed dog and inspecting it before putting it back down on her pillow. "Who is Eddie?" he asked, finding that he was jealous of a boy who he, other than his name and the fact that he was vacationing in Vale, didn't know anything about. When he had finally gotten a good look at Sarah MacKenzie, after helping her out of the pool and wrapping her tiny, shivering body up in a huge fluffy towel, Harm had been hit by the realization that the girl that had fallen asleep against his chest at the hospital was gone, and a beautiful woman was left in her place. He had to keep repeating _'she is fifteen'_ over and over in his head to keep from pressing his lips against hers the way he wanted to.

"Just this guy from school. Trish and Frank hate him," Sarah said with a small smile. She turned her upper body and grabbed a comb, turning back to face Harm before running it through her hair.

"You've been holding out on me," Harm said, joking to keep her from noticing how much he was hurting. "Never have you told me that you met someone."

"Harm, of course I've met people. So have you. It happens when you live in a populated area and don't live the life of a recluse," Mac smiled.

"I meant _met someone_ met someone. You never told me you found a boyfriend," Harm said.

"We're not dating. Eddie is just a guy from school. We're friends. We hang out with other people. He's not my boyfriend," Mac said. She could have sworn Harm sighed in relief, but she didn't bother questioning it. "So, tell me all about the Academy," she said, eager to get off the subject of her life for a while.

Harm smiled his Flyboy smile. "It's great," he said before launching into a story about life at Annapolis Naval Academy.

* * *

**La Jolla, California**

**Burnett Beach House**

**December 16, 1982**

Harm had crashed early, his body accustomed to East Coast time, but he adjusted easily and, after going for a long run and taking a hot shower, he made breakfast for everyone in the house. He didn't think Sarah would get up—he knew he hadn't when he was fifteen and school was on break—but he cooked extra anyway. He made pancakes in holiday shapes—fir trees, holly leaves, wreaths, Mr and Mrs Santa Claus, presents, and, his favourite, an attempt at a turkey—and cooked some bacon and sausages. With the coffee perking away and breakfast almost finished, Harm smiled at his mother who yawned widely as she came down the stairs tying her bathrobe at her waist. He could see that she was wearing a pair of flannel pyjamas despite the heat and a pair of cartoonish bunny slippers adorned her feet. Frank came down soon after in sweatpants and a tee shirt, little Tasmanian Devils on his feet. Mac bounced down a minute later in cowboy pyjamas and with dinosaurs on her feet.

"I think my feet are under dressed," Harm said as he got out four plates.

"You're fine, dear," Trish said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Thank you for making breakfast. What was this one supposed to be?" she asked, holding up the failed turkey.

"A turkey," Harm said sheepishly.

Trish laughed loudly. "Stick to airplanes, darling. Pancake art will never be your claim to fame," she advised her son before sitting down at the table with her 'turkey'.

Mac shovelled a mouthful of pancakes laden with syrup into her eager mouth and moaned. When she had swallowed she smiled at Harm. "These taste amazing. You'll have to teach me how to cook while you're here. I can barely boil water without setting the house on fire."

"It's true," Frank teased. Mac swatted at him playfully and he pulled her into a one-armed hug. "You know I'm just teasing you, Princess."

"I know," Sarah smiled before going back to her breakfast.

The four of them made conversation until Frank realized he was late and ran for the shower. Trish finished her coffee and, after Frank left, she went to take her own shower so she wouldn't be late for work as well. Sarah pushed Harm away from the sink saying that he had cooked; the least she could do was do the cleaning. Harm stayed in the kitchen with her until she was done and then they went to the living room and collapsed onto the couch.

"So, what are your plans for break?" Harm asked.

Sarah shrugged. "Don't really have any. What about you? I bet you've got a lot of old friends to look up."

"Not really. Most of the gang didn't bother coming home. Besides, it's the first time I've seen you since you were eight. I was hoping to spend some time with you in person instead of in letters and over the phone," Harm admitted.

"I'd like that," Sarah smiled. That was what she was hoping he would say. "I'm going for a swim," she said, getting up and heading for the stairs, presumably to go get changed into her bathing suit—swimming in clothes the day before was more than enough for her.


End file.
